Ever since I came back from Block Island, where my boyfriend proposed to me, I have been exhausted beyond belief, as in I Can Barely Make It Through the Day. Something about getting my head around this big new change in my life and all the implications of it.
Then, to add to that overwhelm, I began to simultaneously plan TWO wedding ceremonies, one of which was originally to take place in less than two months from now.
What the hell was I thinking?
I cancelled the Two Months from Now event.
With the exhaustion now came a set of interesting physical issues which included a rapid onslaught of allergic symptoms that made me feel like I had a really bad cold all the time. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I finally hauled my butt to the doctor's office. From there, I went out to lunch with two girlfriends who offered advice about weddings. Which just confused and overwhelmed me even more.
I came home from all that, and my body basically shut down. I pulled down the winter comforter from the closet, tossed it on the futon, and buried myself beneath it for a good hour. It was like being in my own personal cave.
Once I got out of the cave and had a few bites of salad, a wave of new energy and inspiration came over me. I started to tidy and re-organize my home office. I baked cookies for my friend's birthday and hand-designed a personalized tin to house the cookies. I cleaned off my desk and also installed those suction cup thingies you put on the shower wall tiles to hold shampoos and such.
While baking the cookies, I watched multiple episodes of the reality show Say Yes to the Dress, which features the dramas of the brides and their accompanying friends/family who come in to pick the bridal dress. Mike watched it with me and I let him have some of the gift cookies.
I said "Even though I might need some time to decide what to do for our wedding, I still love you!" He looked kind of skeptical, so I handed him a few more cookies.
I'm feeling a lot better now. Thank G-d for big comforters and naps!