TOP 10 REASONS TO HAVE A GANG WHEN YOU SET AND GO AFTER YOUR GOALS

Four years ago, I was terrified of riding a bike alone in traffic.  I found and joined a diabetes prevention group at the local YMCA where each of us set small goals at the weekly meetings.  One week, my goal was to ride my bike alone two blocks to the local neighborhood park.   I ended up riding much further, all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge Park and back to my home.  I don't think I even knew the traffic rules!  I was so scared that I was shaking when I got back.  I've ridden my bike most days since then, and I learned something important:  It's a lot easier to set and achieve challenging goals when you are part of a larger group.  

A lot of folks don't make New Year's resolutions because they are fearful of failure.  Personally, I think it's a set-up for discouragement to go after something that may have been hard for you in the past and then expect to stick to that goal.  Why knock your head against the same wall again and again? When you identify what you would like to accomplish in the coming year, the next step should be to find one or more groups of folks who have similar goals.  Here's 10 reasons why:

1. The other people in a group can provide perspective on both your struggles and strengths, which is incredibly valuable when you hit internal or external stumbling blocks.

2. A group, with its diverse set of minds, can work together to brainstorm solutions to your challenges.  A group can often come up with an idea that a person could not come up with alone.

3.  A group can help to hold you accountable in the places where you want to give up, back down, and hide under the covers.

4.  Within a group, you can often find an accountability partner- someone you can check in with in person, or via email or phone.

5. You might make new friends!

6.  People can offer perspective through humor when you hit hard times.

7.  It feels great to contribute to someone else's success!

8.  You can be inspired by someone else's breakthroughs.

9.  You can inspires others by sharing your own successes and breakthroughs.

10.  As Barbara Sher, author of Wishcraft, famously said "Isolation is the dream-killer." We humans are designed to go through life with the support and company of other humans.

Where has group participation helped you achieve an important goal?  Feel free to share by leaving a comment!

THE $20 BILL I WON'T BE SPENDING

This is one $20 bill I'm not gonna spend. Why? It was given to me by J.D., an elderly friend who I met when we both participated in a health support group at the YMCA. When I told him it was my birthday, he reached through the window of his dial-a-ride van, handed me the bill, and said "Here! Have a malted on me!" I didn't know what to say; it was so unexpected. I said "Thank you," and then I walked into the Y and burst into tears.

I'm going to hold onto this bill to remind me of the beauty and necessity of unexpected acts of generosity and kindness.

May we all have J.D.s in our lives and may we all be J.D.s to others. 

BIKIN' IN BROOKLYN: IT TOOK A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CYCLIST

I am proud to be a lady biker.  A Brooklyn-based lady biker.
But I wasn't always one.  I was too scared to ride a bike alone and in traffic.

My man bought a bike for me many years ago when we were newer to Brooklyn.  I rode a few times with him, and that was it.  I was too scared to ride in traffic on my own, so Pink Bike sat idly, chained up to to a street sign on our block. 

Years passed.  I joined a health support group at a local YMCA. We set goals each week and rallied around each other to reach those goals.  One week, I said to the group "I am going to get on my bike and ride it for TWO BLOCKS to the neighborhood park." "That is a great goal!" said the group.

I was scared, I mean really scared, to get on the bike without the company of my husband.  I did not know traffic rules.

But I got on the bike, and started pedaling toward the park. 

Once my trip was underway, a strange thing happened: I got to the park, but instead of stopping there, I kept pedaling.  I somehow remembered the way, more or less, to a path by the water that went through Brooklyn Bridge Park and then into DUMBO.

Wait a sec, how did this happen?

I pedaled home, not believing what I had done.  When I got off my bike to lock it up, I was shaking pretty hard.  I don't know if it was from fear, fatigue, or both.

But I had done it - I had ridden my bike through traffic all by myself!

It's weird, because adults aren't supposed to get excited when we overcome fears.  But I think we should! And we should celebrate our successes and share stories of overcoming fears with other adults.  Why?  Because it breaks down the isolation we experience around the fears we carry, and  because we can help inspire each other to address our fears with support.

Example:  I was chatting with one of the employees of the place where I bank.  He told me he would love to learn how to swim, but never had taken it on because of a near-drowning experience he had when he was very young.

I told him about my experience with riding a bike alone. I said that I thought it was much easier to deal with fears with the support and accountability of a group, like the one I was part of at the Y.  I told him that the Y taught people just like him how to swim.

The next time I came into the bank, I asked Banker Man if he had taken any steps toward swimming. He said he had told his girlfriend about the idea, and that they were thinking about taking a swim class together.  I was so excited to hear this!

Back to biking for a minute.

There are some other things I did to keep building courage and support around being a lady biker.  I discovered a great organization called WE BIKE NYC.   WE BIKE is a community of women who ride bikes and who provide a safe space for women to ride together regardless of speed, skill, and riding style.  Every month, they offer different events to get more women on the road. These events include social rides, training rides, mechanics workshops and field trips.  

I went to a WE BIKE Rules of the Road workshop, a social gathering at a Lower East Side bar, and met up with some WE BIKE cyclists in Red Hook after they had rode their bikes in from Manhattan.  (I'm not quite ready to do the Brooklyn-Manhattan round trip yet.)

I also went to the New York Bike Expo just to hear a group of women panelists speak about Women's Biking in NYC: Your Questions Answered.  Very inspiring!

And guess what?  I did once injure myself, trying to be a bad-a**. Yes, that's right, I tried to jump a curb, but did not have enough speed to clear it.  So I sustained a painful soft tissue injury on my hand for a number of months.  But I survived and kept going.

Now, basically anywhere I would normally walk to, I ride my bike. 
Also, my bike has gotten me out of some pinches, like the time the F train was not running and I was going to be late for a doctor's appointment where I would have been fined for not showing up.  I hopped on my bike, raced through traffic to another subway line, and got to my appointment.

One last thing:  I am still scared when I ride my bike.  But I am also having a great time.  I am so glad I decided to push past the initial fear, with the help of a great group, and pursue my desire to ride. 'Cuz now I can ride like the wind!

Do you have any fears that you have overcome with the help of a group or another person? Do you have any current fears you would like to overcome?  What might be a next step for you?

Whatever your goal may be, I am here cheering you on!

STUFF I'M GRATEFUL FOR

Here, Pink Monkey emulates Janet Jackson in the Rhythm Nation music video.

I keep a gratitude journal by my bed. Right before my head hits the pillow, I jot 10 highlights from the day in a tiny chunky purple spiral notebook I found in a bin at Staples. So I record the items, read a few inspiring lines from a book, and then it's lights out. Ya know what? It's as a good a way as any to end the day.

Here's my gratitude list for this moment:

1. Candy Corn in little cellophane bags: So pretty to look at with its festive fall colors. PLUS it's a vegetable AND a candy!

2. The adorable dog, Eggplant, whose owner Ari (proprietor of an AT&T store on 7th Ave) claims is half-pig, half-dog.

3. The way my husband, Mike, can make inanimate objects - including a Lucy Pez dispenser and a stuffed pink monkey - look absolutely real.

4. The Pay it Forward cycle of small black umbrellas - friends loan them to friends who loan them to friends.

5. The YMCA - wins for best ROI

6. The chalk drawings of two narwhals with speech bubble conversations on the sandwich board outside the Housing Works Book Cafe in SoHo.

7. Bouncy Castles at street fairs

8. Lobbies of hotels and Upper East Side buildings - mini Grand Central Stations and comfy places to sit to watch the world go by

9. The super-satisfied feeling I have after cleaning out a closet or a file drawer

10. Friends who are good telephone conversationalists (e.g. who just focus in on the talk and stop doing other stuff)

MINI GETAWAYS MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

It used to be that whenever I needed a mini getaway, I would take the F train from Brooklyn to the 2nd Avenue stop in Manhattan. There, you can find the Chinatown YMCA as well as Whole Foods. My getaway consists of swimming at the Y (which has a fantastic pool and a really nice Director) and then going to the top floor of Whole Foods. It's a giant, quiet, light-filled loft space where you can sit with a snack and read, write, or hang out with friends.

With wedding planning and a new job, I forgot about my mini-getaway spot. But I remembered it last night when my body telling me it needed some rejuvenation.

By the time I got inspired to go swim, my local Y in Brooklyn was closing in less than an hour. So I decided to take the train up to my Manhattan stomping ground. What a lovely bonus that the Chinatown Y now has extended hours on Saturday night; they are open until 8:45 pm! It was quiet; I had a whole lane to myself and there was barely anyone in the locker room.

After a great swim, I went around the corner to Whole Foods, brought some soup upstairs, and enjoyed reading a celebrity magazine that another Whole Foods patron begifted to me.

I came home feeling so energized. Even though it was late, I spent an hour cleaning up the apartment and getting things organized for the next few days.

Before going to sleep, I read a bit in the NY Times about the 40th birthday of Sesame Street.
Did you know that Michelle Obama was on the show and promoting healthy eating. Go, Michelle!

BEST ROI CAN BE FOUND AT THE Y

Lately, I have been asking myself where I had received the best return on investment. Two thoughts came to my head: First, Match.com. I spent less than $100 on Match fees and found the man I have been with for nearly six years.

Second, I thought of the YMCA. I get to lift weights, stretch, take classes, swim, and get access to cable stations we don't have at home (yes, I am a closet fan of The Disney Channel) -- at any Y in New York. All this for $70 a month since I get a discount through The Park Slope Food Coop. It's worth finding out if the Y grants you a discount via any groups you belong to, including your place of employment.

One reason I prefer the Y over a regular gym is because it is a place that inspires me. All around, I see young people -- babies all the way to young adults -- engaged in exercise and forming good relationships with the people (parents and Y employees) who lead those activities. It's also about young people leading each other. Often, I'll see a group of teenage guys congregating in a corner of the weight-lifting area. One of them will show the rest of the group a specific exercise or technique. When I think of all the teens who are left on their own after school and on weekends, I realize that the Y provides an invaluable setting for them to socialize and stay in good shape.

The Y has been a part of my life from the beginning. When I was very young, my dad would take me there to swim. In college, I worked at their summer camp. After grad school, I taught at one of their parent cooperative schools. For the past two year, I've been working out at their Brooklyn and Manhattan branches. My favorite branches so far are the Dodge Y on Atlantic Avenue and the Chinatown Y, which is actually sits on the border of SoHo and the Lower East Side.

While we're on the topic of Ys, I gotta give props to the YMHA, the H standing for Hebrew. When I lived in Manhattan, I swam and used the library at the 92nd Street Y, and also eavesdropped on the wise musings of elderly Jewish folks in the cafe. The 92nd Street Y offers some of the best cultural programs in the city, including performances, classes, and lectures.

If you're tired of (A) your fancy, overpriced gym that's as big as a broom closet or (B) tricking yourself into thinking that walking to the corner store is adequate exercise, I strongly recommend that you join a Y - Christian or Hebrew.

For a history of the YMCA, click here.

For a history of the YMHA, click here.

HAIRSPRAY TREADMILL MARATHON (DAMN, I'M SORE!)

I don't what came over me yesterday. I think I got excited about getting back into shape. I went to the YMCA, did some stretching and weight-lifting, and then got on the treadmill. I turned on the little tv screen and - lo and behold! - the movie Hairspray was playing, ad-free.

I've already seen movie Hairspray twice (the re-make, not the original). I tried to rent it, but however the company made this particular DVD made it incompatible with an older model of a DVD player that we have. Since I can't rent the movie, I thought "Why not sieze the moment and watch it now - THE WHOLE THING?!"

I usually stay on the treadmill for half an hour at most, doing two miles on an incline. This time, I stayed on for AN HOUR AND 45 MINUTES, doing somewhere between 6 and 7 miles. Boy, did I get the adrenaline pumping. It was actually a great feeling to know that I could push myself further than my regular two miles. And I had a blast re-re-watching one of my favorite movies.